Watch Without a Watchman

An article on SpaceDaily vis a vis the impending Great Google Dutch Auction. This guy makes a good point about the way that Google operates and the fact that it is fundamentally no different from any other dodgy internet age startups. Sure, they may talk a mean game and they may have the greatest search engine going, but the truth of the matter is that these guys don't make money. Every time they pull in $100 million in revenue, they issue $400 million in stock options.

Indeed, there's something uniquely unpleasant in the hippie rhetoric with which Google surrounds its activities. "We aspire to make Google an institution that makes the world a better place" we are told in the early part of the S-1 statement (the only part that many journalists appear to have read!) "Google is not a conventional company..." and, in an inspired moment of Bill-and-Ted-speak: "Don't be evil." This kind of stuff is funny coming from 1980s high school kids, distasteful coming from 1960s hippies -- and deeply disturbing coming from 2000s billionaires benefiting from dodgy stock option accounting.

Edit: I just remembered an article I read somewhere that claimed that engineers who can produce the next big thing are a dime a dozen, but an accountant who can, and who will, fudge the books up just right is worth his weight in gold pressed latinum.

Joel M. (via www.spacedaily.com)

Cool Reason article on the Paper Age government. I like the punch-line:

Paper Age government is not inherently dysfunctional and it does not suffer from hackable vulnerabilities. It could serve us for many more decades. But if it does, government will slowly diverge from an increasingly Computer Age populace. Government will be that quaint, slightly bizarre place where people still shuffle papers around desperately trying to find something relevant to do.

Joel M. (via www.reason.com)

This is just to keep track of something that my brain has spat out a couple of times lately so that I can stop thinking about it. The original idea is Neal Stephenson's, but I suspect that we're at the point where the idea is actually practical for a few things.

First, check out WebEarth, a server-side VRML application that creates a 3D rotating picture of Earth that is relatively current and built up from satellite imagery. You might need a VRML plugin, but they provide a link for a good one.

Pretty cool, no?

Also, check out the City of Medicine Hat iMap. It's just a bunch of layers of image that you can turn on and off, but what's interesting is that you can get a real look at what you are looking at, rooftops and all, in addition to the stylized view that users of traditional maps are accustomed to.

Anyway, I kind of had this thought that something like this could be a really handy way to organize certain forms of data on the web.

It would work like this: You have a piece of data that can in any way be construed as connected to a certain location. It could be your business web page, with the location being your address. It could be your homepage, with the location being your house. It could be blueprints, with the location being the actual building(s) built from the prints. It could be building permit information. It could be utility right of way information. It could be pet licenses. It could be movie reviews. It could be celebrity fan sites. It could be satellite photographs, different kinds of maps, or studies of animal migration patterns. It could be, well, pretty much anything since just about everything happens somewhere in the world.

The next step would be to somehow tag your location based info with the parameters of the location that it is associated with. Maybe you could have a little ap that runs on your GPS enabled phone and you go out and walk the circumference of your yard or office or whatever. Or maybe your municipality has located all of its records and you just need to tell the system that your page is connected with the property at location xyz. I'm not the nerd to figure this bit out.

Then you reap the benefits. You want to search for pizza shops in a certain neighbourhood? You sketch your physical search area on the city map that shows up when you zoom in on the globe. You want information about who owns a piece of property? You point at that particular lot on your map. You want to know where the utility mains are in your neighbourhood? If they're in the system, you draw your box and search for utilities. Want to buy something on eBay, but only if it's nearby? Want information on what species of big cats live only in sub-Saharan Africa? Want to see where the boundaries are of your Ward or School District?

Of course, even a chimp could tell me that not every piece of information could benefit from being location-based, but I think that enough would to make it worth doing. What's more, I think that there would be a lot of emergent, synergistic benefits to having everything organized in this fashion.

Joel M. (kudos to Neal Stephenson)

What the fuck is up with Svend Robinson?

He steals a piece of jewelry worth $50 grand, tearfully admits to it, takes a vacation, and doesn't even get a slap on the wrist? Buh?

I mean, yeah, he 'fessed up and gave it back. That's certainly grounds for leniency. Same deal as when you catch your kid with a chocolate bar after you leave the store. You take it back, the kid is humiliated and apologizes, and everything is fine after that.

Except of course that this guy is in his fucking forties, he's a fucking Member of Parliament, and this was not a fucking chocolate bar!

I mean, what, if I steal a car for a night and bring it back with a full tank of gas and no dings, does this mean that I won't get charged? Or let's say that I need a cup of sugar, can I go around checking to see if anyone left their apartment unlocked if I fully intend to replace the sugar after I get back from the store tomorrow?

I don't think so.

To me, this is all about the culture of greed and thievery that seems to exist in the upper echelons of government and business. What's a fifty thousand dollar ring, if you're used to selling out your constituents for campaign bucks? Or if you're used to nodding off in caucus? Or if you're in the habit of taking extravagant fact finding vacations on the public's dime? Or if you're accustomed to disproportionately tiny punishments for flagrant transgressions against customers, the environment, and the public good?

This all speaks to an earlier post of mine where I suggest that we need some sort of electoral reform. In this case, it sort of suggests that there is something wrong with the people who lead us. That they reflexively think that they can get away with whatever they want as long as nobody is looking.

I don't know how to address this issue, but I think that it must be dealt with somehow. Maybe some sort of public-interest watchdog needs to be created? But, given the tendency of businesses and their regulators to intertwine, it would have to be designed to force people into adversarial roles. Maybe we just need greater transparency? 24 hour a day webcam surveillance of all elected officials and shareholder board members, perhaps? You could support it by selling ads so that people could be paid to watch in their spare time. Or maybe the jobs with power simply need to be so onerous that only those who are extremely motivated and dedicated to the public good would ever aspire to a position of power.

Like I said, I have no idea myself.

Here is Robinson's statement from his website:

Burnaby, B.C.
15 April 2004


STATEMENT BY SVEND ROBINSON MP


For some time now, I have been suffering from severe stress and emotional
pain. While continuing to undertake my responsibilities as the federal
Member of Parliament for Burnaby-Douglas, and to serve my constituents with dedication and hard work, I have experienced great inner turmoil. The reasons for this are of course intensely personal, and I am not prepared to discuss them, but among others relate to the cumulative pressures of dealing with the emotional consequences of a nearly fatal hiking accident. The past few months have been particularly difficult and painful.


This accumulated stress culminated last Friday in my engaging in an act that
was totally inexplicable and unthinkable. While attending a public jewellery
sale, I pocketed a piece of jewellery. I did this despite knowing full well
that the employees who were there recognized me and did so in a context where I had provided to them my full name and contact information in writing, and that the entire area was under electronic surveillance. Something just snapped in this moment of utter irrationality. Immediately upon leaving the premises I realized that I must return the jewellery. Too afraid to go back, and unable to contact the owners by telephone, during the long weekend, I spent a weekend of great anguish, determined to return the jewellery at the first opportunity. On Tuesday morning, I attempted to contact the owners, and not being able to do so directly, I went to the police and gave them a full account of what I had done, and returned the jewellery to them. This matter is now in the hands of the police and Crown Counsel. My legal counsel, Clayton Ruby, has communicated with Crown Counsel and outlined the circumstances fully. I await the decision of Crown Counsel and will not seek to in any way avoid full responsibility for my actions should charges be laid in these circumstances.


I have sought and am receiving professional medical help to understand and deal with these issues. I have commenced a course of therapy with this objective, and I look forward to full healing and recovery with the excellent professional assistance I am receiving. Clearly at this painful and difficult time, while there are outstanding legal and health issues to be addressed, I must devote my full energy and time to recovery and healing. I will therefore be taking time off for medical leave immediately. My hardworking and experienced staff will certainly continue to serve the needs of my constituents, and I will remain in close contact with them. I am also stepping down at this time as the federal New Democrat candidate for Burnaby-Douglas while these issues remain unresolved. I do this with the full support of my federal Leader Jack Layton, my riding President, Doug Sigurdson, and my partner Max Riveron. I will be meeting in the near future with my riding executive to discuss the longer term implications of this decision should an election be called while these issues remain outstanding.


As you can imagine this has been a nightmare. I cannot believe that it has
happened, but I am human and I have failed. I have felt such a sense of
privilege and honour to serve my constituents in Burnaby and indeed people across Canada, and feel an equally powerful sense of sadness that I have let them down. As I deal with this issue, I hope I will have their understanding and support.


In light of the very personal nature of this statement, and the outstanding
legal issues, I will not be able to take any questions. Thank you for your
understanding.

Joel M.

You've just gotta see this. A hilarious British short film with naked men. It's a whole heap of pure joy.

Joel M. (via www.diepunyhumans.com)

Eulogy

This is a notice that I wrote for my mother to give to a who was drawing complaints because of the smell emanating from his apartment.

Dear Sir,

This notice is to inform you that we have had a complaint about the smell of the front common area that your apartment shares with your downstairs neighbour. We would appreciate it if you would take whatever steps are necessary in order to deal with this problem for the comfort and convenience of our other tenants.

If you are uncertain about the source of the smell, we recommend that you tidy your rooms, clean up after any pets you may have, remove all garbage from the apartment, and open the windows in order to air it out. If the smell persists, it is possible that it is sewer gas, in which case the problem can be remedied by pouring water down all of your drains.

Thank you for your prompt action on this concern.

Yours Truly,

Nora McNally

As it happened, the apartment continued to stink and my mother and sister finally went inside to see if it had been abandoned or if there was just some stinky garbage stashed near the door that they could get rid of.

Instead, they found their very first corpse! Glee! And, even though the place is tiny, it was such a pigsty they were in it for minutes and minutes before they found the guy. He just blended in with the rest of the dirty old clothes and trash on the floor.

Anyway, it turns out that the stinking man was a bit of a drunk, and my mom surmises that he tripped and bashed himself to death while in a drunken stupor. What's a little sad, though, is that nobody noticed this for more than three weeks. No worried friends. No anxious family. Just a stink in the still air to alert anybody to his passage.

It's things like this that make me want to be a bit nicer to the people around me and maybe drink a little less.

Joel M.

Here you go, Aaron. Chimps are stronger than humans.

A New York Times article reports that a tape recording made on 9/11/01 containing statements from "at least six air traffic controllers who dealt with two of the hijacked airliners .. was destroyed by a supervisor without anyone making a transcript or even listening to it."

The quality-assurance manager was said to have "crushed the cassette in his hand," before disposing of it.

I just tried to crush a cassette in my hand. I couldn't do it. I know my upper body strength isn't what it ought to be, but I don't see how any normal human could crush a cassette in his or her bare hand.

I therefore conclude that the manager is not human. He is probably a very smart, shaved, and clothed chimp. Supporting evidence: In 1924, the Bronx Zoo tested the grip strength of people and chimpanzees using a dynamometer. A 160-pound male human had a grip strength of 210 pounds. But a 135-pound female chimp had a grip strength of 1260 pounds. Anybody have a pet chimp so we can test this out? I'll pay for the cassette.

Oh yes, also 9-11 stuff. Very horrible. Yes.

Joel M. (via www.boingboing.org)

More links on the issue of how tough a chimp really is:

A discussion on the genetics of chimp strength.

The Straight Dope on chimp fightin'.

Here's a little bit on people who work with severely damaged chimps and what they worry about:

Those who work in close contact with the chimpanzees, to a certain extent, put themselves at risk. Several of the chimps are HIV-positive, and while the risk of transmission is small, it is real. Ketter, having been around them for years, is almost casual about it: “I don’t have sex with them and I don’t share needles with them. I’m not going to get it any other way. If you get a bite, you’re going to have so much blood flowing out, it’s never going to travel back in.”

But Grow is more cautious. “The problem is you stop worrying about it, and that’s when it becomes really dangerous. You’re not always on guard. It’s not something we think about every day, but it is something we absolutely should be thinking about every single day. Like we worry about them escaping every day, or about the chimps being sick every day.”

A far more likely disaster would be a staff member being clobbered by a chimp, intentionally or not. For that reason, and because of the chimps’ enormous strength-estimated at up to seven times the strength of a human-Fauna staff and volunteers never enter an occupied chimp cage. They’re always a set of bars away.

“I think probably any one of us could go inside,” says Ketter. “I don’t think they would hurt us-they certainly wouldn’t hurt us intentionally. But they play pretty rough, so you could be hurt unintentionally. And then of course there’s the worry that a fight might break out and you’d get caught in it. You’re totally inadequate for a chimpanzee fight.”

The Jane Goodall Institute probably knows what they are talking about.

Blah. I'm bored now. I would like to know what the details are, though. Is the difference in strength between a chimp and a human something chemical? Neurological? Hormonal? Or is it just a quirk of leverage or the fact that it is hard to get a chimp to isolate a muscle group?

Boo-yeah! Call of Duty finished on the hardest level in eleven hours less a trip to Opa for dinner, baybee! I think my Quick Load finger is going to fall off, though. It was brutal and I died enough for the whole war.

Joel M.

Adam Smith, in The Wealth of Nations: "Rarely do people of the same occupation gather together, even if only for merriment, that it does not end in some plot to defraud the public."

Joel M.

Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crap.

Joel M.