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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Don't you just hate dreaming about work? I know I do.

Joel M. (via a crappy night's sleep)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I'm an editor now.

Lately, I've been freelancing for a magazine called Calgary Living. Not the greatest mag in the world, but they pay me and, provided that I pitch ideas that could theoretically appeal to a sort-of rich guy between the ages of 25 and 50, I have a lot of freedom about what I want to write about.

Recently, one of the editors started doing a bunch of work for the Toronto branch of the magazine and the guy who pays me decided that he needed more help.

Enter the Joel.

So I went down today to talk to him about the job. I had talked to people about what sort of cash I should be asking for, psyched myself up to impress him, and even ironed my God damn shirt.

What I was not ready for was for the interviewer to be under the impression that the interview was an hour later than it was scheduled for. (For serious. I checked the e-mail.)

Despite this, though, I've got the job. Not only am I a freelance writer (and I love the term 'freelance') and not only am I a retail clerk (damn the taint of it. I'd quit but the guys there are half my social life now,) but I am also, now, an editor.

As the lady at the Kidney Foundation told me (yes, I applied for a job at the Kidney Foundation recently) in not so many words: I've had too many different jobs. Way too many.

So, until Oban finally relents and hires me on as an official Scotch-sniffer, make mine morbid!

Or something.

Joel M. (via life, in all it's stinking majesty)

Stolen entirely off of This Modern World:

"A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN"

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. And all but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some cry-baby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalism wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

The implied omnipresent omnibenevolance of liberals in this piece is a little hard to believe, failing to mention that Joe's first business failed as a result of high taxes, the massive waste of a failed program such as Canada's gun registration program, and the fact that some actual unions are hardly more ethical than the companies whose employees they are supposed to be protecting, not to mention wasteful.

However, it does make the point that progressive social programs and regulations have a lot to recommend them. As a person who favours government initiatives designed to ensure a decent standard of living; like health care, public works and safety regs; living in a province infested by people who don't seem to care how important these things are to the well-being of all citizens, rich or poor, I can really appreciate this point.

Joel M. (viw www.thismodernworld.com)

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I've had a few sodden arguments with friends over the recent Chechen attack on that Russian school. In this article, Gwynne Dyer makes the points that I wish I had been sober and informed enough to make.

Here's a little gem:

When German troops neared the Caucasus in 1943, Stalin deported the entire Chechen population to camps in Central Asia, fearing they would collaborate with the invaders -- and half the Chechens died there before they were allowed to return home after the war.

I wonder how many of those were school-aged children?

Joel M. (via www.gwynnedyer.net)



Well, looking at my last post, Susan has been sick for almost a month. She started off with some sort of fever which seemed to start getting better before graduating into asthmatic bronchitis. Yuck.

And now I'm sick with a chest cold and, what's worse, it's different than what she was sick with, so it doesn't look like I'll be getting much in the way of smooches in the immediate future.

Just wanted to share the joy!

Joel M.

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